When somebody would violate or hurt other persons, we must ask who taught that is the right way to act?

Kimmo Huosionmaa

We always see the essays and other stories about social relationships and how to act without hurting somebody. Media is full of stories how to say "I'm sorry", and how to act in situations, that somebody feels have been hurt, and also there are stories, that somebody didn't understand how sad some work fellow is? When we are thinking about the situation, that somebody has lost the member of the family, and some person in the working place would not even notice that thing, we must ask one question: "how this ice-cold person has been treated in the working life"?


Did somebody leave that person without support in the situation, that the person needed somebody, who would listen to the problems? When we see the person, who is like ice, and doesn't even notice, that somebody is crying, we must look in the mirror in that kind of cases. We might ask one thing "how this person dares to talk about dishes or account numbers when somebody has lost the child or spouse"? Then we can visit the library and take some book of psychology from the rack, and notice that there is the very interesting story about model learning. That is sometimes called as the "Lucifer effect".The worst example of this effect is the situation, that person who has been violated at home, would start to violate the own children.


Or sometimes ex-concentration camp prisoner would become the prison guard, and then start to act like some guards were acted in Auschwitz. The reason for that is, that the person would learn that prison guards can act that way. And it is learned this person by hitting with batons and extort that victim in many ways.  This means that if we see that somebody else does something to us, and nobody thinks that is wrong, that way to treat other persons would transmit straight to us. And in that kind of cases, where somebody doesn't even care about other person sadness, we must ask was this person always alone in the workplace?


The model learning gives us answer, that in some other workplaces this particular person had got bosses, who didn't care about this kind of situations, and maybe this work mate  had similar situation in the life, that the member of own family or some very close friend of that person had died, and the boss just didn't care about this situation. Or maybe this heartless workmate has been some kind of temporary worker, who was not even noticed in the workplace. Why should that person care about the workmates, who meant nothing to other workmates?


If other workers ever speak to that person, why should this temporary worker ever care about the loss of somebody else? In this case, I must say something, what you, my dear readers ever don't want to know. Thar worker might hurt somebody on purpose. If another person would just yell to henchman or temporary worker,  this victim might want to hurt other persons on purpose, because this  person was first the victim. And that would cause the spiral of revenge, what would cause that all works in the workplace have not been done. Social relationships are very important thing, but in workplace work comes first

http://marxjatalous.blogspot.fi/p/when-somebody-would-violate-or-hurt.html